Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Randomize
