she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
My breasts were aching with rage.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
