Dude, just got a bummer.
A blow job from a homeless chick.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..