Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
