So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
