under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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