You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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