I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize