When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Jerry, you need to find god
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Randomize
