if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He better not be in your backpack
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
tell me about the eggs
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
