butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
