my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
