I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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