Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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