farters have to be the big spoon...
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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