She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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