A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
