giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize