he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
