So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
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