i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
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