Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
