Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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