That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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