Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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