The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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