I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Randomize
