One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
