Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize
