Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
