No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
