I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
he told me I talked like a deaf person
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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