i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
So here I am, sexting at work.
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