My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
