its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
