When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
