okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
