remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
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