Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Randomize
