Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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