I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
