Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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