At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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