I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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