All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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