I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
