you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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