Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i love accidental penises.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize