What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
