Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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