You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
