I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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