Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize