Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
