how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
