I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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