Texts From Last Night

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  (805): View more from California

  I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.

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  (805): I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait. http://tfl.nu/wg99
  Replies (101) Good night (839) Bad night (3333)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.

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  (843): 70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up. http://tfl.nu/l18e
  Replies (13) Good night (700) Bad night (4539)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.

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  (804): Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009. http://tfl.nu/yk6t
  Replies (49) Good night (5696) Bad night (1360)
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  (631): View more from New York

  The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.

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  (631): The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack. http://tfl.nu/734p
  Replies (8) Good night (4263) Bad night (986)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...

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  (406): apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone... http://tfl.nu/2d2g
  Replies (12) Good night (4690) Bad night (1184)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  no. 1 rule of bromania: no females

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  (215): no. 1 rule of bromania: no females http://tfl.nu/0toi
  Replies (14) Good night (1030) Bad night (2175)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b

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  (860): Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b http://tfl.nu/niwv
  Replies (7) Good night (1669) Bad night (2257)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone

  (1-540): View more from Virginia

  I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her

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  (540): Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone (1-540): I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her http://tfl.nu/pf86
  Replies (28) Good night (3912) Bad night (1312)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.

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  (281): And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways. http://tfl.nu/b6k4
  Replies (3) Good night (1386) Bad night (506)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.

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  (610): How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you. http://tfl.nu/fpwy
  Replies (8) Good night (2489) Bad night (731)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course

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  (239): Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course http://tfl.nu/4x8m
  Replies (2) Good night (699) Bad night (356)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.

  (1-860): View more from Connecticut

  Fair enough.

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  (860): If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face. (1-860): Fair enough. http://tfl.nu/elro
  Replies (0) Good night (705) Bad night (434)
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Which is way cooler

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  (571): I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse. (703): Which is way cooler http://tfl.nu/my7h
  Replies (7) Good night (506) Bad night (577)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.

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  (239): Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse. http://tfl.nu/h54v
  Replies (1) Good night (285) Bad night (733)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.

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  (250): He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now. http://tfl.nu/hi6o
  Replies (11) Good night (547) Bad night (561)

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