I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
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