i already hear my dad disowning me
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.