God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
